Same Game, Different Rules..

Have you ever heard of a game, where the rules are player dependent? Where the rules change as and when the players change at strike??!! Welcome to the game called 'Relationships'!! This is applicable to any sort of relationship, not just the boy girl one. Let me explain how.

We always expect our moms to be in the pink of their moods, just because they are homemakers, while we ourselves can have ballistic mood swings since we have a 9 to 5 job per say. Quite inhuman of us I must say, as managing a household is no child's play!! But we are so inconsiderate that we don't try to understand those times when our moms are a lil on the edge of their murky moods.

The same analogy can be applied to most other relationships as well. But this rule changing thingy is utmost prominent in what I'd like to call the traditional boy-gal relationship. We go on a date and we invariably expect the boy to shell out the bill. We girls, expect the boys to surprise us with gifts and what not!!! That is quite hypocritical of us, since on one hand, we advocate equality of sexes and on the other hand we want that sort of a male domination in our relationships. We are independent gals and are well to do. The least we can do is to go 'Dutch' (if you know what I mean) on our dates, or if the guy is a gentleman enough to drop us back home, we pay for the petrol or something. My point is never make hard rigid rules just for one person. Make rules that can be applicable to both the individuals.

Coming to the other end of the spectrum, the boys want to be mothered in their relationships, which is quite pathetic. They expect the gals to call them, be concerned if their done with their meals, take care of them while they're ill, understand when they're busy and understand when they wanna have fun!! When you tell them that you're busy at work, that's complete bulls**t to them!! Hypocrites them too!! Heck!! They expect you to be concerned about their family while they can take your family issues for a ride!! After a hard day's work, we are expected to cook and clean with the same enthu and vigor while they can come back home and crib about a long day at work. Come on!! We work in the same office environment and have the same stress to deal with. But who will understand?!

My point in short is, we must understand each other as to how it might be in the other person's shoes. Never have any atrocious expectations from the other person, that you might not be able to fulfill, if the onus were on you. Try to have common rules that might be applicable to both for an amicable and joyous coexistence.

P.S.: After reading this post, I'm getting the feeling of having delivered a 'pravachan':D

--- Colour Bomb ^_^

The Jealous 21 Jean Concept?

Jumping right into the topic, are we following the Jealous 21 Jean concept in our society to view the ladies? Once upon a time, say 1873, Jacob Davis and Levi Strauss invented the blue pair of jeans. With a lot of evolution, we now have come to the age of precisely categorizing our ladies jeans into three vivid categories such as (brace yourselves) Hottie-slim hips, Hourglass-regular hips and Bootilicious-curvy hips!! That's just about jeans. But are we secretly being rated or categorized similarly by the men when they look at a certain gal?

Welcome to the age of sizes! One size fits all has been defied left,right and center. Its the age of mixed sizes. On one end of the spectrum, we have Kareena Kapoor endorsing the size "0" and on the other hand we have Vidya Balan, well, endorsing a voluptuous body. So, as average Indians what style do we adept to? We are anyway generously endowed but then some of us do manage to go on silly diets to look stick thin. Is all this necessary? Who are we trying to impress? There are some gals who believe in the myth that smoking helps you to lose weight. But what about your lungs baby?! 

No matter what shape the men are, for all we care, they may look like bean bags themselves, but expect their gals to have a sauve figure!! Men invariably tend to categorize gals into certain slots. Such as, if a girl is stick thin, they will call her a plank coz she will be devoid of assets as such. Or if a girl is a lil plump, they will call her an aunty or a balloon!! Preposterous! Categorizing also extends to the style quotient or the type of clothes worn by her. If she is in Indian or ethnic wear, she will branded as a behenji. If she wears jeans or better still skirts, showing off her toned legs, she will branded as a "maal". Again, prejudicial branding on this would be that a behenji will be a "smartypant" and a "maal" will be a dumb bimbo!!

Why is all this grooming expected only out of a gal? I see very few guys who are utterly conscious about their looks. But I know for sure, that all girls are conscious about they way they look and carry themselves. Its ok to criticize a girl to a certain extent. But is it ok to criticize her to such an extent that she has to undergo a catastrophe of a change to make her likeable?! Looks after all are just momentary. Its the essence of a person that is long lasting. Instead of emphasizing just on looks and outward appearance, we need to inculcate the habit of accepting the people the way they are, unless they turn out to be complete jerks! :D

In short, eat healthy, stay fit and most importantly, wear good fitting jeans :D

--- Colour Bomb ^_^

The 'Taulia Lao' Types..

Rani Mukherjee has epitomized a certain class of men called the "Taulia Lao types" in the movie Hum Tum. These men are classic examples of huge male egos. And what makes them so special is that they exclusively breed mostly in our country. You will in fact find them everywhere! Welcome to the world of self sufficient, egoistic and full-of-themselves men!

These men have a preconceived notion that women exist to bear children, to take care of the house and do all the household chores. They do not appreciate their wives to work, have any time consuming hobbies or any other such interests apart from making sure there is order in their lives. The case aggravates if at all the gal is working and earning more than the guy. He instantly turns psycho and cynical with sarcasm as an uninvited gift. The kids of any in the relationship, must be taken care solely by the gal. The guy will wash his hands off most of the stuff involving the kid. He assumes that he is doing his bit by provided all the finances required. Alas! the dumb idiot is unaware that money is not the only thing required in the upbringing of a child. Also, few guys decide to get married so that they can have someone to cook and clean for them! Heck! Get a maid in that case! You dont necessarily need wife for that! (no offence meant when I said maid)

They are inherently lazy bums who expect the wife to do they basic chores as well; so much as a trival "taulia lao" which means they even insist on their wife giving them the towel when they go for a shower! That is the height of laziness and for granted attitude that these certain type of guys have. We cant blame them completely 'cause they might've picked this sorta mentality maybe from childhood. In India, you often see a slight discrimination between guys and gals done by parents or grandparents. To quote an example, when I would get better marks at school than my brothers, my grandmom would often tell me to not tell my brothers as they would feel bad. And I somehow would fail to understand as to why my good marks would make them feel sad. Her thinking was that, if they would get to know of my marks, they would probably think low of themselves. But its altogether a different thing that my brothers have turned out to be fine gentlemen :)

We understand that maintain a home, having kids and doing the household chores is something that a gal must do at some point in time. But it doesn't mean that guys can take a hike from these responsibilities. Gals must be treated as equals on all platforms of life and of nothing much the guys should at least appreciate the efforts that a gal puts in keeping the whole relationship together.

--- Colour Bomb ^_^

Women or "We Men"??

Welcome to the age of un-innocence. Or so to say there's no time for love. These days people are so busy engrossed in other aspects of their life that  asking someone, "how's your love life" seems a bit futile or so to say cupid has taken a hike! 

People are getting so ambitious and busy that no one has the leisure for elaborate romance. We're always looking for stress busters or quick flings that do not hinder in our professional lives. Its often an arrangement of parasites; the guy and the gal kinda agree on this speed dating, no emotional nonsense relationship.

Why are there so many great unmarried women, and no great unmarried men? From a woman's perspective,men are more like affairs we try to forget as quickly as possible. We don't expect a lot of candy floss, roses, long drives or late night conversations. Its more of quick coffees, to-the-point talks and stress busting in any which way which satisfies both. Also, the more successful ones are quite choosy as to whom they date and ultimately marry. No one settles for a short or bald or old or less earning guy. Quite a cut-throat theory but sadly proven true. According to the survey, the short, fat, poor ones are equally obnoxious. They have some sorta alternate dimensional male ego themselves. Then again these fat pigs, no matter how bloated they are, want their wives to be stick thin!! Double chinned, double standards!! Then comes the overtly emotional guys, who want to do things together, want to keep a tab on you that it borderlines on obsessiveness!! Ufff!!

But still a large 60% of the guys are always emotionally detached. So keeping that theory in mind, do all men secretly want their women promiscuous and emotionally detached? What is it to feel like a man in a relationship? I mean to just not bother so much about the emotional investment? To enjoy the physical rather than the emotional aspects of a relationship? Men can keep aside emotional drama and concentrate on the physical aspects of a relationship whereas women at some point in time get attached and tend to have further expectations out of what is a mere fling to the men. 

The theory that women can date like men with no emotional bonding what so ever can be expected out of the metros in our country. Whereas the same application is totally invalid to the rurals as they are instilled with completely different set of values. Women should take charge or be in control as to how they want to steer a certain relationship, since in our country we have always grown up learning that the man needs to be in charge. Its about time we turned the tables aorund and experience a whole new outlook towards the progress of our relationships. No matter where or how, we women need to take charge cause there's no clan like "Womania" which is a mania and which has man em'bed'ded in it!! (pun intended)

--- Colour Bomb ^_^

The Tattoo Tale

So, how do you perceive a person who has a tattoo? Obviously, tattoos visible are no surprise. But what if you find out that the person you know or you're dating has a tattoo? For me, personally, when I see someone with a tattoo, I first find out if he/she got it as a show thing or so to speak to look cool. To be honest, I tend to think of the person having a loose or a laid back attitude. If the tattoo is a general one, its still fine. But what if he/she has got their lover's or husband/wife's name inked?! That is just atrocious coz I feel,there is no need to prove you love someone truly by inking their name on yourself. Eventually the tattoo will fade out and once you get all old and wrinkled up, the name will get distorted :D

Also, one can digest a particular tattoo if if has an interesting and a valid story behind it. I don't understand what's the whole fun of getting slokas from the Vedas or Puranas as tattoos on one's self. Isn't it making a mockery of your heritage? Also, people do have a certain way as to how they would perceive you depending on your gender. Its totally different for a guy and a gal! A guy with a tattoo is assumed to be someone who is "cool", "funky" and someone with the MTV attitude, if you know what I mean. Whereas, at the same time a girl is perceived as someone with a loose character, a carefree attitude  someone who might be into "black nail polish"; boozing and fagging are like understood habits of the gal.Tattoos for some people also signify a mark of rebellion, someone who might be rich spoiled brats who do not know the value of money and who have strong opinions of life. 

Also, the location of the tattoo matters a lot! For example, if it a visible tattoo like on the arm or the ankle or the sorts its still fine. What if its on the mid riff? You will find the person wearing inappropriate clothes to just show it off. Tattoos might be acceptable elsewhere, but in India, a college student is justified wearing that inked thing across, but all else are under the scanner. 

Whatever may the case be, all I say is that a tattoo should not be used as a judging criteria. If you see, some of our grandmothers also might have that tattoo like inking on their arm, the green colour design they used to ink in villages. But we have never got down to judging their character. So, in a nutshell, a person should be judged for his qualities rather than the ink he has on his/her body. This post might be an eye opener to me as well. ;)

--- Colour Bomb ^_^

Intro To My Blog - Carrie has always been my inspiration :)

Simple, Average and Moderate on the outside; Extraordinary, par Excellence and Stupendous on the inside :) Indian single women have always been scared or rather consider it a taboo to talk about relationships and beyond. Maybe things are changing now, but still I don't find myself discussing about relationships in the open like Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha from the famous TV series saga Sex and The City.

This is a simple yet striving effort of mine to pen down thoughts of single women like me who have indulged in a relationship or two. I also have been quite the agony aunt and have listened to quite a number of relationship stories. So I thought I might be apt to play the virtual Indian Carrie Bradshaw. Of course, my articles might be quite dialed down and more suited for the Indian bachelorette.

The SaTC series actually helps a girl identify with at least one of the characters. Well, if not completely, at least partially we are somehow relatable to their love life and relationships. I for instance can relate a lil to Miranda and her relationships. Miranda is a lawyer by profession who is strongly a career driven woman, highly ambitious and have very less time for romance and the time needed to invest and harvest in relationships. I am partly Carrie as well, who has a wide perspective on relationships, who has quite some time on hand for the guys in her life, who is emotional but also has her head firmly on the shoulders. Charlotte is more of a pativrata ladki, the types who worship love and who values her relationships with men beyond measure, so much that she is ready to give up her ambitions in the wake of starting her own family. Last, and the most colorful of all, Samantha can be summed up as an intelligent slut; intelligent because she has a flourishing career of her own plus she is not scared of flaunting her love life in the open. She doesn't believe in maintaining relationships with men but is strongly guarded by her own set of rules when it comes to her friends. 

So, in a nutshell, I think we single gals must be able to bracket ourselves a lil into each of these 4 women or a combination of them. In this humble attempt of mine, I wish to write my take on relationships with men at large and with women in general and how we deal with the short comings or the faux pas we come across in our day to day lives.. :) Also, I will be writing about any other such related topics which influence us in perceiving people or inspire us in any which way. In short, any such topic that might have an influence on relationships is something that I would write about here.

As mentioned in my post title, I am strongly inspired by the topics on which Carrie had her take on, so I will continue to imbibe from them and write my own take on the topics as a single Indian gal :) 

Do encourage me and any useful inputs are always a welcome :) 

--- Colour Bomb ^_^